Overheard in...: A Train

The "Overheard In..." category for the blog recalls snippets of conversation I happened to stumble across that for some reason stand out as indicative of cultural differences, or cultural issues I'm trying to understand. (And all subtly prove that reality is stranger than fiction.)

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The Setting: Early Saturday evening, on a fairly crowded train from Brighton to London.

The Characters (4): A crowd of friends-- British, late twenties/early thirties, dressed up to to go out in London for the evening. Two males and one female. (Didn’t get the best look at them as they were behind me, but all fairly attractive, professional looking types). And then me. We’re all passing time on the train.

The Scene:

(I picked this up in mid-conversation.)

Guy 1: ...So there she was in the computer store and she had a short skirt on and underneath this sort of …con*trap*-tion… so that she could tie up the laptop under her skirt.

Girl: Really?

Guy 1: Yes, indeed. But luckily the guards caught her before she got out and managed to stop her.

Guy 2: Can you imagine? She must have had to have put the laptop under lengthwise… because if it were width-wise…

Guy 1: Right. What would the guard say? “Um, is that a laptop under there or are you just happy to see me?”

(Briefest pause, then firing back and forth in quick succession.)

Guy 2: Right. Or better yet, if the computer were Siemens… “Excuse me, but have you got Siemens there between your legs?”

(all laughing.)

Guy 3: No, no, no. The best is, “What the Dell is going on down there?" (laughing, then repeats it.) “What the Dell is going on down there?” That’s what the headline would have been if The Sun had gotten hold of the story—and that would have been just brilliant!

(more chuckling and the conversation dies down into other subjects I can’t hear. I'm on the other side of the train, smiling, and wondering how on earth people come up with stuff like that...)